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And that's just the basic principle of teledildonics: According to Storm, the most popular toys are from OhMiBod: The representative described a world where long-distance couples—for example, the military couples Real Touch was already reaching out to—could engage in simulated sex with the help of this product; so long as "sex" was defined as one partner selflessly jerking off, blowing, or fucking a pretty lame-looking dildo all for the pleasure of the other's sleeve-encased cock. Real Touch Interactive wasn't about replacing physical sex; it was about enhancing cam shows—about getting more intimate with a person you'd likely never be in the same room with let alone inside of. This story originally identified Zander Storm as a former sex toy reviewer, but she still reviews toys.

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Clients interested in this sort of interaction purchase a block of time to control the vibe, starting with a five minute session and going up from there. In terms of "true" teledildonics, there's the We-Vibe 4 Plus, which Storm has used with a handful of clients. Yet even with all the issues, it's enticing enough that Storm's looking to increase her use of it, even going so far as to have a friend program a custom Chaturbate app to use with the We-Vibe. And yet even through my haze of teledildonics pessimism, I've still been able to see some promise for the technology: Newsletters are the new newsletters. Real Touch was recruiting porn performers to provide interactive cam shows to paying members. Not all companies are hampered by such prudery:

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